The value of grief

Most of us think grief is only appropriate or applicable when someone dies. Let me tell you a little secret, to grieve is a process we go through constantly. Whether we grieve the loss of a loved one or the loss of a job or even the loss of freedom in a world captured by the fear of an invisible enemy.

I feel constant grief at the moment, as a sensitive person I tend to suffer from “weltschmerz”, world pain on a regular basis. I know it sounds strange but it is what it is.

It’s a burden to feel what is happening in the world… to feel the pain people are going through, the fear, the despair. We are collectively grieving for the life we had before the big P. For the freedom to take and to give a hug. A pure and simple thing of a hug.

Of course we function, we do our job, take care of the children, deal with the newest regulation… one more restriction there, another here… now it’s two masks or only one special type. Freedom and a promise of one day keeps everyone in line. Or not.

And then it takes a moment where you sit down, or pause and for one moment we are not distracted and then it hits you, right in the gut. And you can’t breathe with tears running down your face, and you ache for the normalcy of just having a coffee with a friend at a cafe.

Grief comes in waves, sometimes it overwhelms you. You are tired and can barely make it through the day. Trust me, this is normal. Sometimes grief simmers at the back end of everything… we are all masters of distraction and in a way you manage to keep the crushing waves at bay. For a while. Then you need to let the waves come crashing down to wake up the next morning to find the ocean has calmed down after the storm.

I don’t think we will get our old lives back. Things are changing, for the good or for the bad… no one knows. It is our opportunity today, and dare I say, our duty to grieve what as been lost to us. It is okay to grieve, its okay to struggle with letting go.

I remember lots of bible analogies from Sunday school where in grief they ripped their clothes and sat down in the dirt and grieved their loss. Whether it was Job grieving the loss of his possessions or Jacob mourning the loss of his son.

I find this to be such a beautiful picture, how significant it is to show your grief to the world and just to grieve. How utterly sad our world has become that we don’t even recognise the importance and the value of saying goodbye. Saying goodbye to a world we lived in, to make place for the new one.